take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
