Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize