i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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