put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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