i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
