guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You were trust falling into bushes
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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