I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize