you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
