I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
