My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
