lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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