Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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