just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
