I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
