I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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