After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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