scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
