He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
lets start a swedish sibling band together
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
