"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
