my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
