she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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