Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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