Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
