After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
