We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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