your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize