how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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