You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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