I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
