Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
