You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize