as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm too high and old for this...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize