it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize