I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
