I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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