I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
