Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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