i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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