I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
