Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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