Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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