dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
high people should be assigned attendants
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
50% drunk capacity currently
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
