i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
