I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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