I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
