Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
