She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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