i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
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