There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he shaved USA in his pubs
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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