haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
