I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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