so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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