i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
If that was your dad, he is hot
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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