Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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