Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Randomize
