bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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