Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
