I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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