New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
and she was petting her beer can
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
