He is such a slut. More and more my type.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
