I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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