I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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