I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
