Everything about him screamed your future.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
