I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
