Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
