It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
