ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
