We're facebook friends in real life
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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