this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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